Whether to divorce or not is the most important decision in a person’s life. However, many people suffering from marital problems decide to separate without seeking the advice of professionals. According to marriage.com, less than 10% of couples consider consulting a marriage therapist before divorcing.
In most cases, relationship counselors work with both spouses to solve marriage problems and strengthen their relationship. They improve the overall marriage by teaching conflict-resolving tools and helping couples discover and overcome underlying problems.
Many relationship professionals offer marriage retreats and intimacy workshops to couples struggling with marital problems. Marriage retreats allow spouses to reevaluate the root cause of the problem and develop strategies to resolve them.
To be honest, seeking the help of a counselor for marital issues does not always guarantee that things will get better. In some cases, some couple counselors offer advice that is based on the trends of the day rather than evidence-based strategies. In most of these cases, the marriage is harmed by well-meaning but improperly trained counselors.
How do you find a qualified marriage therapist? Read on to know how to find the right person who can help you save your marriage.
Qualification and Credentials
Find a relationship professional who has received a degree in counseling or social work, and additional post-graduate training either at a university or with a reputable therapy method, such as The Gottman Method, Emotionally Focused Therapy, Imago Relationship Therapy, or Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.
These therapists have the skills, knowledge and training to counsel on marital issues. Do not hesitate to ask the counselor about his or her professional degree, qualifications and years of experience in couple counseling. However, do not discount therapists with little experience. If you are paying out of pocket, their rates may be affordable and they are required to work under supervision of an experienced therapist.
Check the therapists’ online reviews on the internet. Any good therapist should have at least a few positive reviews online.
In some cases, one partner may choose a couples therapist he or she has been seeing for individual therapy. However, it’s not the right way to select a good relationship therapist. The counselor must be impartial to either partner and, instead, put the “relationship” first.
Each partner should feel comfortable and free to explore the relationship with the counselor.
Therapists (those who are reputable) who are working with an individual will refer that person and partner to another therapist for couples therapy should the need arise.
A good therapist should have a thorough in-take process. The therapist will ask each individual a series of questions in a questionnaire and during an initial session. This thoroughness signals that the counselor is motivated to guide you in finding the treatment for your relationship.
Sometimes, one or both partners are seriously considering divorce. Some marriage counselors provide special sessions to help couples take a deep dive into discerning the right path for them. They may suggest attending a marriage retreat to aid them in their decision making.
A therapist should not impose his or her beliefs on you during counseling, choosing a counselor who shares your core values can make you feel more comfortable expressing your feelings. During your interview process, ask the counselor to describe his or her personality and values. Different values should not be a deal-breaker, but you should not what to expect.
Wrapping Up -:
Finally, ask acquaintances and friends for a referral. Don’t worry about the social stigma of therapy. And, by the way, the stigmatization has lessened drastically over the past few years. Asking for a referral is a sign of confidence and maturity — that you care about your relationship.
Do not skip therapy, skip bad therapy.